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brain, you're in for a bludgeoning 2003-10-16 From time to time I have offered up examples to show what I complete freak I can be, and here's another installment. I think this might be the ultimate example of my freak nature, actually. Or maybe not. Last night I laid awake for way too long before my brain would shut off and let me sleep, and this was mainly because I was imagining what it would be like to have to go back to being 14 again, except with all my 35 year old memories and knowledge intact. In this scenario Francisco was also put back into his 14 year old self, and he remembered everything too, so we could call each other and keep in touch and eventually end up together again. It's just that the in-between time would be so Horrible. Going back to age 14 would mean giving up almost every freedom I have--I wouldn't be able to drive or work or make any important choices for myself. Being a 35 year old in a 14 year old body would give me the advantage of completely not caring about any of the social crap that went on in high school, and would give me the opportunity to start an exercise program early in life. But otherwise, it would suck. I devoted a lot of thought to what kind of employment I could find for myself as a 14 year old, because one of the other benefits to going back to age 14 would be investing in Microsoft when it was in its infancy, but since I was poor when I was 14 years old, I would need money to do that. I was thinking one option might be to write a book, because you know how people like to publish books written by children so that adults can be amazed by the kids' precociousness. Shit, I'm as precocious as the next person, so why not? I also wrestled with the idea of averting problems and/or disasters for other people, since I would know in advance what was going to happen, but I think in most cases I would have to sit by and do nothing. Take my sister for example. I could counsel her on what to do differently to avoid becoming deathly ill, but if she avoided that whole thing, she probably wouldn't be where she is today, and I know she Loves where she is today. I also thought that Francisco and I would have to temporarily move to southern california in the Fall of 1993 so as to adopt our cats all over again, because there's no way I can do without them. And then we'd have to move somewhere with cleaner air so that Esther wouldn't develop asthma. We could do all this moving, see, because we would be millionaires from our Microsoft investments. Do you see the kind of freak brain I have?! It just would. not. let. go of this thing last night, and needless to say, I slept poorly. Last night it was so refreshing to go straight home instead of popping by the pharmacy first. I had a wee bit of trouble with them on Tuesday night, but I managed to be my best self and be polite rather than ripping anyone a new one. I think that's all anyone can do when faced with annoyances when their heads are already on the verge of exploding from pms and bad traffic. But hey, did anyone see West Wing last night? It wasn't on in this area--there was an extra CSI on instead--and I don't know if WW wasn't on nationally or if it was just a local snafu. The WW webpage seems to indicate that it aired, but it sure didn't here. Does anyone know anything? I hate that I might've missed a new West Wing episode. At least we had Angel for solace. I had lunch today with my coworker and previous coworker, outside in a beautiful garden. Which sounds great until you factor in the swarms of yellowjackets who were greatly interested in my salad dressing. I have a problem with yellowjackets, stemming, I think, from my childhood when one landed on my face in a grocery store parking lot and was crawling all over, even on my eyelids, and my mom and great aunt were telling me not to move. It didn't sting me, but I grew up with the [certainly accurate] idea that yellowjackets are ruthless and unpredictable. This idea was furthered during the summer I worked at a camp and every week, during the Wednesday night picnic, several children were stung by meat hungry yellowjackets. Eventually someone hunted down the nest and destroyed it, but until then the children were Hunted. Today we managed to trap the most persistent yellowjacket in a clear takeout box containing a sacrificial pickle, and I warded others off by closing up my salad and not eating it until I was back at the office. Other than the Swarm, lunch was fun. That's about all I have right now. Tonight we'll have a good dinner Francisco is making and will watch Angel and Survivor (which is cracking me up AND giving me the most delightful frisson of schaudenfreude) and I'm going to sleep better tonight, if possible. Tomorrow at noon I'm getting my hair cut, and that will be most welcome. Love, E
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