eight-legged speed demon


First of all, I want to point out that much of the time the people who sign my guestbook are funnier and/or more interesting than I am, so I recommend you check it out from time to time if you want a laugh. Next, I want to explain the yellow/red card process, since if you don't watch soccer you would probably not know how it's done. Personally I had no idea about the carding before I started watching [and subsequently becoming insanely obsessed with] soccer, so probably there is some confusion. Here's how it works: A player will commit some kind of offense the referee deems to be cardable, and that's a whole thing in itself, because there are some definitely cardable offenses (for example, if the goalkeeper touches the ball with his hands outside the keeper's box, it's an automatic red card) but mostly it's up to individual refs to decide if a foul deserves a card, a free kick, or whatever. Anyway, a player does something the ref wants to card him for, and how it goes down is, the ref blows his wrist whistle, reaches into his pocket (usually into the left shirt pocket) and extracts the card of choice, yellow or red. He holds it up high while the player and often some of his teammates argue with the ref--a futile process, as the ref's decision is final and the players know he won't change his mind. When it's a red card being displayed, the player in question generally looks to be in shock and despair, because a red card means you're booted off the field and also banned from playing in the next game (and possibly more than just the next game, depending on the offense). If a player gets two yellow cards in one game, the second yellow card is equivalent to a red card; cue the despair. During or after the argument period, the ref will put the card in question back in his shirt pocket and extract from his shorts pocket his little notebook, into which he will write down the offender's name for transfer into the annals of history. Then the game will resume. Here are some pictures of players getting yellow cards, and here are some pictures of players getting red cards. Note the previously-mentioned despair in some of the red card pictures. So there you have it. My explanation was purposely very vague, both because I don't know all the fine points of carding yet (still quite a newcomer to soccer) and because the process does seem to be fairly dependent on the individual ref. There is one main, in-charge ref per game and two assistants who are on opposite sides of the field and monitor things like whether players are offsides, but the assistants will also notify the main ref if something happens that he's not at the correct angle to see for himself; they're his indispensible tattletale minions.

Fantastic true soccer story, from Atomic to me to you. I don't know if I've mentioned it lately [...] but I LOVE SOCCER SO MUCH. Also, my favorite coworker came back today from 2 weeks in Europe, and she brought me an AC Milan soccer shirt. [!!] I've never actually watched them play, but I definitely will now (at least once), and I can hardly wait to wear the shirt. I have to keep it a secret from everyone else in the office because she didn't get anyone else anything, though she brought a big box of chocolates for the whole office. Her status as my favorite coworker: Re-confirmed.

And now to things other than soccer: Television. Can I ask, do you watch Arrested Development, and if not, why not, and if you don't have a reason, would you consider starting to watch it? That show is, seriously, one of the best shows I have ever seen, and I have over 3 and a half decades of television-watching experience to draw upon here. That episode from Monday night was one of the most brilliant things ever, but the problem is, EVERY episode of Arrested Development is one of the most brilliant things ever. If you watched it, did you know imoscar.com is an actual website? That's what I call follow-through! Seriously, if you're not busy on Monday nights at 9:00, I highly recommend you tune in. Other television thing: Lost. We Tivo'd it last night but haven't watched it yet, which means I'm having to actively avoid hearing or accidentally reading anything about it, since people are talking and writing about it all over the place. My friend, Jeff Senior, sent me an email this morning which began, "I have a question about last night's Lost". I have no idea what his question was, because as soon as I read the word "Lost" I shied like a startled mustang and averted my eyes. I can hardly wait to see it tonight to find out what's happening. I hope hope hope Sawyer doesn't die, because I think he's one of the most interesting (if not most likeable) characters on the island, and also, he's almost ridiculously hot.

Last night that spider that went into the vent a couple days ago resurfaced in the living room, and he and I played a rousing game of Catch the Spider in An Inverted Drinking Glass. He won hands-down because he is fast like puma and brave like prawn, and also, that mofo can JUMP (like kangaroo). He went into another vent, which I then closed, as well as closing the one in the bedroom next to my side of the bed, since I was sure if he came out of there while we were asleep, his first order of business would be to scale the bedframe and bite me on the eyelid. I knew I'd have to get up at night to pee (I always do) and told Francisco I was worried I might step on Little Shelob on my way to the bathroom. He gave me a small flashlight (a "tactical" flashlight, whatever that is) to keep on my bedside table, and I did indeed use it on my one trip to the bathroom. No sign of LS, but if he'd been there I could've used the flashlight to blind him while my archers finished him off [I totally stole that from Miles, just so you know]. We will tangle again, Shelob, and next time I will win! I have no intention of letting you lay eggs in our heating ducts, because were that to happen, I would never sleep again.

I read the best article earlier today about religion and politics. It's really long, and I guess it has the potential to offend, but if you feel like reading something good but long, this article's your baby.

That's about all I've got. Come back tomorrow, okay, and we'll talk about Lost.

E |


come over some time & see me - 2011-02-25
let's not say goodbye - 2011-02-23
the Rachel Zoe collection - 2011-02-10
I feel happy today - 2011-02-04
the tiny snow stalker - 2011-01-25

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