You know the expression "hollow-eyed"? I'm not exactly sure what that looks like, but hollow-eyed is how I feel right about now, and it's mostly Esther's fault. She's been coughing a lot again, since last Friday, and she does most of her coughing at night so we've been sleeping very poorly. She seems to be getting better so I'm hopeful we won't end up at the emergency vet again, but on both Saturday and Sunday I thought we were going to have to take her. Francisco gave her a cyproheptadine chloride (crazy pill) each of those days, and after they took effect she was breathing better, which is why we didn't take her to the vet. The crazy pills seem to help her a lot, but they make her 1) eat and eat and eat, 2) beg for more food, even though she has plenty 3) meow loudly and repeatedly for some mysterious and private reason, while she's in the bedroom and we're in the living room and 4) [my favorite] follow us around the house and stare at us, with eerie, Children of the Corn eyes. Francisco bought her an air purifier yesterday afternoon and we put it in the bedroom (her main hangout) and I think it's doing her some good. Steps we also took yesterday, besides giving her the crazy pill, were to air out the house, vacuum and dust (Francisco did that while I was outside on the deck with Esther), and gas her a few times. She's gotten very docile about the inhaler, but I know she still hates it.

This Esther thing combined with my current big work stress to create a high anxiety weekend for me. I was really stressed at work on Friday afternoon, and when I came home to a coughing cat and (get this) Francisco's cholesterol test results [278! O. M. G. He's already started changing his diet and stuff to get that number lowered.], I became practically paralyzed with fear. I woke up anxious on Saturday and it built to a fever pitch with Esther and her coughing. Same thing on Sunday, basically, and if it wasn't for Francisco sort of taking over the situation, I'm not sure what I would've done. I feel like such a wuss for coping so badly, but I'm so overwhelmed right now I can't deal with even One More Thing. Francisco stayed home from his shootenanny yesterday because I was on the verge of panic, and I feel guilty about depriving him of that, but also so grateful that he didn't go. He made everything so much better this weekend and I owe him many gift baskets and blow jobs. [sorry mom] I ended up having to come to the office yesterday because I couldn't do my work at home like I thought I could, so it was great Francisco was home to stay with Esther and the Boy. Oh, a funny thing occurred yesterday while I was at work: Francisco went out for a little while to get that air purifier, and while he was gone the Boy went outside for a minute, but he forgot to unlock the door (it opens from the inside when it's locked from the outside--you know the type). He left the door closed except not all the way, and when he was outside, Esther was trying to get out but she's hopeless at opening doors (Lucy is smart enough to know to hook her claws under the door and pull) and she ended up butting it closed with her head and locking Boy out. Fortunately Boy had left his book outside so he sat out there and read until Francisco returned, while Esther watched him through the glass door with her Children of the corn stare.

If you've made it this far, I thank you--I know it's boring and unfun to read about a person's stress and blahdeblah, but right now I don't have too much else to talk about. There were bits of fun this weekend--Francisco and I dropped Boy and his friend off at a movie and did a bit of shopping while they were there (used bookstore, mainly) and we played some cards this weekend as well. Oh, and we saw I Heart Huckabees, which I Thoroughly enjoyed, so that was good too. Once I get a handle on this work nonsense, things will be much better. I did about 30 files today, which is pretty damn good, but I still have a lot to do. My plan is to keep working as quickly as I did today so I can get caught up by the end of the week and therefore won't have to work next weekend. That would be kickass.

There's a cardinal sitting on a branch outside my office window, and it's staring at me. Accusingly. I'm trying to think of what I could've done to offend it.

Going home now.
E |


come over some time & see me - 2011-02-25
let's not say goodbye - 2011-02-23
the Rachel Zoe collection - 2011-02-10
I feel happy today - 2011-02-04
the tiny snow stalker - 2011-01-25

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