Marcus strikes again


Yesterday when I got home from work, Marcus had just finished up talking to Francisco:

Marcus: Can your son come out and play?

Francisco: My son is 14 and doesn't really want to play with little kids. It's nothing personal; I promise you that when you're 14 you won't want to play with littler kids either.

Marcus: Well how old will he be when I'm 10?

We thought that would be Marcus' only attempt for the day, since Francisco had been pretty straightforward with him, but about 90 minutes later, after we'd finished dinner and were watching something on television, I saw him ride his bike down the driveway. Francisco had previously asked Marcus to not ride his bike in the driveway (after Marcus crashed into the house), so when Francisco opened the door, and after Marcus had asked if Sharky could come out and play, Francisco asked him again to not ride his bike in the driveway.

Marcus: I didn't!
Francisco: You didn't ride your bike into the driveway?
Marcus: No.
Francisco: Well how did it get down here, then?
Marcus: I walked and pushed it.

Marcus, you little liar! Francisco pointed out he was sitting on the bike and Marcus said he'd pushed it into the driveway and then gotten on it. Francisco asked him to get off the bike, so Marcus reluctantly did while Francisco explained that he didn't want Marcus to hit the house again, or the car or truck, because he didn't want Marcus to get hurt in our yard. Marcus absorbed this lecture with a sly smile and then got back on his bike. Francisco told him he needed to get off his bike and walk it out of the driveway, and "Marcus, when I say something, I'm Serious!" Marcus kept his sly smile while walking his bike out of the driveway.

Later on in the evening, Francisco ran an errand, and 5 minutes after he left, someone rang the doorbell. It was Marcus' little sister--he had sent her to ask if Sharky could come out and play. I just. What the fuck am I supposed to do with these irritating children?? I could go talk to his parents, but he lives with his uncle and aunt and his uncle is apparently deaf. A few days ago:

Marcus: My uncle talks with his hands.

Francisco: Oh, he's deaf?

Marcus:.........He talks with his hands.

A few minutes ago I saw a truck pull up and some guy get out and go to Marcus' house. He came back out with the uncle and another guy, and sure enough, they were talking in sign language. I know this is weird and stupid and makes no sense at all, but it was really odd to see them talking in sign language, because truthfully? These people are some of the biggest hillbilly rednecks I have ever seen, and for some reason hillbillies and sign language just don't go together in my mind. See? I told you it was stupid.

So anyway, I could talk to Marcus' uncle except I don't speak sign language so that wouldn't work out so well. I guess I could always write a note, though.

Dear Marcus' Uncle,

Please please please, for the love of kittens, forbid Marcus and his sister from coming over to our house. They are extremely annoying and also, just between you and me, I am starting to suspect Marcus is a Bad Seed. You might want to see what you can do to fix that. Sorry about the deafness thing.


Please send help.

E |


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