I do what I want

2003-03-07

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To: Dubya

From: Tattoobelly

Date: March 7, 2003

Re: Your juggling/magic/smoke and mirrors act of last night

That was pretty cunning, the way you referred to 9/11 (na na la la) in pretty much every single answer you gave to every single question. You clearly did that to make some sort of indelible link between 9/11 and Saddam Hussein, but pally boy, you and I both know there's no link there. It's entirely likely that some people in Iraq really love Al Qaeda, but there is no relationship between Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda. Osama bin Laden even recently called Saddam Hussein an infidel, so don't try to put one over on Me, dude. You wanna link someone to Al Qaeda and the 9/11 attacks, let's talk Saudi Arabia, because people in that country basically paid for the Al Qaeda guys to crash our planes into our buildings. Good thing for Saudi Arabia that they're our ally and Iraq isn't, because wow, we've got all these bombs burning holes in our pockets.

Also, thanks for the constant reminders that Saddam Hussein has had 12 years to disarm. The way you kept repeating that was really impressive. It made me realize all over again what a keen grasp you have on the obvious. Can I just ask, in what way, exactly, has Iraq injured the US in the past 12 years? You say they have weapons and they've had them and refused to give them up for 12 years, but how have they used them in any way that threatens us? Sure, some soldiers probably got gassed during that Desert Storm debacle (Gulf War Syndrome, anyone?), but you can't blame a guy for using weapons when he's being attacked, right? And I would like the answer to my question to not contain any reference to 9/11, because you know Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with that.

I do not like Saddam Hussein; I think he is a tyrant and has done a lot of rotten things to the people of Iraq. But that's not the reason you're giving for warmongering, and even if you Did give that reason, no one would believe you, because this is clearly about whose dick is bigger and who tried to kill whose daddy. I know you're kind of a self-made cowboy, but this is not the time to go off half-cocked, branding and roping everything you see. Could you please just listen to France and Germany and Russia? They're had significantly more experience with war and regime change than we have. And stop trying to push Turkey around [mmm...turkey] and remember that they used to be a Significant world power, and that things change. At some point the US will stop being the "greatest nation on earth" and when that happens, do you really want historians to trace our downfall back to your presidency? I would think not.

Lastly, could you please start taking North Korea seriously? People who know such things think N. Korea presents a far more serious threat against the US than Iraq does. I mean, dude; they Have nuclear (oh I'm sorry, NUCULAR) weapons!! They have them and they told us they have them, and Kim Jong Il is a total freak; he worries me a lot more than Saddam Hussein does. Don't you care? Why are we sitting on our asses about this?

Never pre-empt Survivor again--that is just rude.

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Sorry--I just had to get that all out before my head exploded. It turns out that the Speech was a good thing, though, because we turned over to PBS and not only did they not run the Speech, but they were showing some episodes of Rick Steves' Travels in Europe. Have you seen this show? Rick Steves is an odd guy, for sure, but he's pretty funny (in a subtle way) and he writes good travel books. We like his shows a lot, and last night we got to watch shows about Bavaria, Prague, and Amsterdam/The Netherlands. The Amsterdam one was particularly fun because we were just there last summer, and it was cool to see stuff we'd seen there but not taken pictures of. Prague looks fantastic--now I really want to go there. And to Bavaria. It's all good.

This afternoon I was playing with my puppy friend (got some pictures of him--watch for them) and I dug a plastic diet dr. pepper bottle out of my recycling and he went nuts for it. I kept throwing it and he'd run and pick it up and drop it and flail around, and I'd pretend I was going to get it from him, and it was so much fun. That puppy is a joy. He took the bottle away with him when he went back to his mom's office, so when he came back out a little while ago I took this plastic pig I have (don't ask) and was throwing that for him. One time it went into my boss's office and he got it stuck under the sofa and left it there. When I went in to get it, apparently my shirt rode up a little in the back (when I was crouched, digging under the sofa) and he saw my tattoo. There are not enough curse words in the world to express my feelings about That. He is the nosiest man in the world and is pestering to see the tattoo, and he will never quit now. Never. He's like the Terminator of pestering. I need a new job. Somebody hire me?

Tonight we're going to the mall, because Boy needs a gift for a birthday party tomorrow afternoon. I wish I didn't like that new mall so much, because I always feel like a lemming when I'm there. But it's just so glittery and there are so many good stores. There's this one store, Metropolitan, that I'd like to move into--they have interesting furniture, decorations, and gifts, and my favorite line of cards. Oh, actually my second favorite line, because Catie's cards are my first favorite. So that's the main activity for tonight, and for the rest of the weekend I just don't know. I would say that chores will be done (including cleaning the interior of the car, thoroughly) and hats will be knitted. Also we might have French food again, because Boy was jealous of us going to the French restaurant last Friday night when he was at his friend's. And the kid is taking French, so he should have the food. I forgot to mention previously that his French teacher wants to have some kind of celebration day where the kids all bring French foods. She wants everyone to sign up for something, and Francisco and I were wracking our brains to think up something French for him to take in. French food is not very portable, and anyway, can you imagine junior high kids and French food? What a trainwreck. We figured if there are 25 kids in the class, 24 of them will bring Costco croissants (I mean, come on, we live in North Carolina), and we want Boy to be the kid who brings the anchovy toast. This is because we A) don't want to spend a lot of money for this and 2) don't want to go to a lot of trouble when the kids won't appreciate the effort anyway. Boy likes anchovies a lot, so he can just bring those toasts on in there.

We have a new phrase on heavy rotation at our house now. It is, "wha'evah, wha'evah--I do what I want!". Anytime is Jerry Springer time, apparently.

Have yourself a good weekend!

Love,

E

PS Here are those lockers we bought:

They're not as orange as they look in this picture. |

cats-kittens

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