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Saint Tattoobelly 2001-11-29 The statement I'm about to make does not apply to Florida, southern California and parts of the southwest. It's November 29; it should not be 80 degrees today! I'm FINished with the warm weather, I'm ready to wear sweaters and drink hot beverages and be cozy--it's too bad the weather has its own ideas. Stupid warm front. Dear Warm Weather, Enough already! Love, Tattoobelly If I won the lottery I think I would learn mechanics. I would become a good mechanic and I would buy a tow truck and would drive around at night looking for women whose cars have broken down, and I would help them. I've fortunately never had my car break down at night, personally, but if it did and I was stranded in the dark, I would be hesitant to accept assistance from a man. There are too many true stories of women being raped and/or killed by men who were making the pretense of helping with car trouble. I wish I lived in a world where people could trust each other not to commit random acts of violence, but I don't, so that's a good reason to use my hypothetical but extremely nonexistant lottery winnings to become a Mechanic for the People. I don't play the lottery, so this is probably never going to happen. You know, I really don't have a lot to say this afternoon, but I said I would update, so doggone it, I'm going to update. One thing I can say is I found out today that if I ordain 15 other people into the ULC church, the church will canonize me into Sainthood. Sainthood. Saint Tattoobelly. Can you imagine how much I am loving that idea? It's killing me. I've taken to writing my entries in Word and then copying/pasting them to D-Land, and it's a better way to sneak an entry at work, but Word keeps criticizing my writing. It keeps drawing red and green squiggly lines under things of which it does not approve, because basically it doesn't recognize a genius at work. No, just kidding, but it is pointing out words it doesn't know, or phrases that may not be technically correct but which all go into forming the backbone of my communication with others. These are matters of style, and Word is just going to have to get used to it. Tonight is Survivor, in case you forgot it was Thurday; I wonder who will be voted out. Maybe Brandon? I know some people are really getting annoyed with him--like old Tom, Country Bumpkin. I don't really dislike Brandon, but if I had to live with him he might get irritating. I know Lex is irritating at least Kelly; who knows, maybe others also. I can't really remember from last week whose neck might be on the line, so I guess I'll shut up now and see what happens. Another television thing, just so you know, Cake will be performing on Letterman tonight. I love Cake, so I'll have to record it. Okay, that's all for now. Have a great evening--talk to you later! Love, E PS -- Lisa: No I can't! I can't eat any of them! Homer: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Lisa honey, are you saying you're *never* going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No. Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal! Homer: [Chuckles] Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
come over some time & see me - 2011-02-25 |
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