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Pissypants 2001-04-06 I'm a total drama queen today. I slept really horrible--very restless, shallow, waking-up-all-the-damn-time sleep. The alarm went off at 5 this morning and I had planned to go to the gym. Francisco was up and bustling so I dragged myself out of bed and started to get ready. I got as far as my tights and exercise bra when I realized that I couldn't imagine getting on a treadmill or bike--there was just no energy for that kind of thing. But I also realized that if I went back to bed I wouldn't be able to sleep, since my brain had clicked on by that time and I know from experience that it wouldn't stop, so I was in kind of a limbo. I cried, and in crying the decision was made for me. I made a rule for myself a few years ago that when I had this kind of go to the gym or go back to bed quandry (it happens too often) and the attempt at decisionmaking caused me to cry, that would be an automatic default for back to bed. I figure if I'm mentally ill enough to cry about the decision, then I need to get back in bed and sleep if possible, or just calm down if not. So that's what I did. I couldn't sleep but I was able to metamorphasize back into adulthood, which has allowed me to get up and shower and come to work. Coffee helped too--I know I quit caffeine awhile ago, but little by little it's been creeping back into my routine. I'm not just a drama queen, I'm a Boring drama queen. Sorry. So, Survivor last night. I am not too sad Nick is gone except that now the former Kuchas have lost more of their power base. Weird though, I heard this morning that someone leaked the final two survivors, and it's Elisabeth and Amber. I think maybe this is a fake leak, because I can't see how Amber could end up in the final two. I can see that Elisabeth might, but not Amber. I'm not going to give the rumor any credence, but I have to say that I would like Elisabeth to win, so if it's true it would be good. In my opinion. Brain...so...slow. Can't...think. Must...stop...writing... Have a good weekend, Love,
come over some time & see me - 2011-02-25 |
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