Midget stewardess

2001-03-01

It cracks me up the way people are desperately downloading music from Napster, in preparation for the big shutdown. I have a friend who didn't even use Napster until a couple weeks ago, and she is now so chagrined at the imminent shutdown that she has downloaded over 350 songs, including stuff she doesn't even think she'll like. Dwight Yoakum, people! Not that there's anything wrong with him, but she doesn't have any idea what his music is like. She is spending all her free time downloading things that she won't ever listen to. Silly girl. Doesn't she know life is too short to be so miserly?

I was looking through photo albums last night, and let me tell you, there are some Funny pictures of me and my siblings as children. There's this one, and I Cannot do it justice with description, of the three of us when I was about 11, my brother was maybe 10, and our sister was about 6. She and I are wearing matching dresses--the only matching dresses we ever owned--and my brother is wearing a light blue leisure suit of some kind. I think these must've been easter outfits, but it looked like they were outfits of days gone by, because the pants were significantly too short on my brother. My sister looks like a midget stewardess in the photo. I like to make people look at her in the picture, while saying, "Sir, would you like a snack? Snack? Would you care for a snack?" If I get access to a scanner, I will definitely post that picture here; it will make you wet your pants laughing.

I have brought an orange to work with me every day this week (except Tues--juice fast), to be eaten with lunch, and I have yet to consume it. Do you know why? Because I am lazy, that's why. I don't want to go to All The Effort to peel it. It makes my hands stinky orangey and I get the peel under my nails, and that is distasteful to me. Well that's just tough. This is my vow to you: I will peel and eat that patient citrus fruit today, as god is my witness. I just hope it's not a dry orange--there is nothing grosser or more gagworthy than a dry orange. I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.

Survivor is on tonight, and from last week's teasers it appears that someone from the Kucha tribe will be bitten or mauled by a crocodile. My prediction is Michael, and that would be fine, because if Someone has to be mauled, Michael is an excellent candidate. He's a little bit psycho and he gets on my nerves really bad with his transparent attempts at manipulation. Hoo-hoo, this is gonna be good! I will do kickboxing and then watch Survivor; I can't think of a better Thursday night.

I've decided to have me a big old birthday party this year, when I turn 34. It's not until November, so that gives me a long time to plan. I want it to be a cocktail party because there is less work involved in that than other parties, and who wants a lot of work on their birthday? The night of my party will find me dressed in satin hostess pajamas, a tiara, and marabou mules, with a long cigarette holder and a candy cigarette (I don't smoke). I will, of course, say no gifts, but I hope people will totally ignore that because I want presents, I just don't want to look greedy about it.

I've gotta run, sweetpeas. I leave you with these immortal words:

"Raleigh! You take that diaper offa your head, and you put it back onto your sister!"

E |

cats-kittens

come over some time & see me - 2011-02-25
let's not say goodbye - 2011-02-23
the Rachel Zoe collection - 2011-02-10
I feel happy today - 2011-02-04
the tiny snow stalker - 2011-01-25

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