it came to me when I was showering
Listen, I'm still sad about Lucy, but instead of talking more about my sadness, how about instead I tell you the reality tv show idea I had this morning? Oh, this show would be SO GOOD. The cast would consist of 10 of the most irritating, hardcore, in-your-face vegans that could possibly be located, and the setup would be your standard "group living" arrangement, like The Real World except even more annoying. They would be TOLD the show is called "Real Vegan Challenge" but that would be a lie. A week or two before the show started filming (before they were in the house), half the vegans would be secretly infected with intestinal parasites, via a delicious, otherwise vegan, milkshake arrangement. The parasite would be a variety that would not cause any real harm to their health, but that Would cause noticeable symptoms. So they would all arrive at the house and for the first couple episodes there would be vegan 'challenges', basically as a decoy. But then the parasite vegans would start to notice some symptoms, so everyone in the house would get an exam, and then there would be a big group meeting where it would be announced that 5 of them have parasites (names would be named). They would be told at the group meeting that there is a simple treatment to get rid of the parasites, but that it would, of course, involve killing the parasites. Cue the drama, the endless debates on the morality of killing a living creature, about whose rights come first, etc. It would make the Jerry Springer show look like a church picnic, and when the show aired, the actual title would be "Sanctimonious House". This show will obviously never get made, due to various logistics and the difficulty of drafting a waiver for the participants to sign that was ironclad enough to deflect the inevitable lawsuits [not to mention that PETA would totally lose their shit], but it's interesting to think about. I realize I may get some hate comments about this idea, but I think I'm okay with that--it IS an appalling idea, but it's not like I would actually Follow Through with it, even if I could. Also, I realize there are probably far more vegans who just do their vegan thing and don't feel compelled to tell other people how horrible they are for eating animal products, than there are judgey vegans, but who would want to see nice, non-judgey vegans put through an ordeal like that? Nobody, that's who.
I actually love vegetarian foods, just so you know. Except for soy cheese.
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