Tenacious D is the greatest rock band of all time!

2001-12-05

My cats do a thing that is so odd, and though I have repeatedly asked them why they do it, they refuse to divulge their reasons. I decided to write them a letter, because maybe they will take my queries more seriously if they are in writing.

Dear Lucy and Esther,

When my underwear are hanging on the drying rack, it indicates that they have been washed and are still wet. It does not help me at all when you claw the clean, moist underwear down from the rack and writhe on it. What it does is impregnate my now formerly clean underwear with your fur, and I am not fond of that. Lucy, I am especially looking at you. Why you choose to take the writhing one step further and drag the underwear under the bed is especially incomprehensible to me. Particularly when they end up so far under there that I need to get a rake to fish them out. If you can please just let me know the undoubtedly logical explanation behind this behavior, I might be inclined to view it more tolerantly.

Love,

Your Mother

Okay, this morning Francisco and I were watching a wee bit of MTV, and we weren't really paying much attention, but suddenly THERE WAS A TENACIOUS D VIDEO ON! I had never seen one but this one was for the 'Wonder Boy' song, and people. It was fucking brilliant. Have you seen it? You must watch MTV night and day until you see it. I love Jack Black-I am So going to run out and buy the Tenacious D album--does anyone have it? Is it great? Jack Black is a sterling example of the adage (is it an adage?) that genius will prevail; he gives me both hope and despair. Hope that someday, with perseverance, I might actually get to do what I want to do, and despair because I know that I am not half as creative and amazing as he is. Saving Silverman and Shallow Hal notwithstanding.

So, you know how I switched primary care doctors so that I could get out of that horrible doctor's office? And you know how I had that appt. yesterday with my new primary care doctor? I went to the appt and they couldn't locate my little triplicate sheet (apparently they make up these sheets daily for all the appointments), so they looked me up in the computer and said, "oh, your appointment is over at the ____ building [the doctor's office I switched out of]". I said, "but isn't Dr. ____ in this building?" "Yes she is, but I see that your appointment is with Dr. _____ [not my primary care doctor]". I explained that I had specifically made the appointment with my new doctor and the lady was very nice and said that unfortunately the appointment-making place does that to people all the time. I told her I was not going over to the old building, because I wanted to see my new doctor, and she went ahead and made me an appointment herself with my new doctor. It's not until December 31, so I have to wait a little longer, but at least I actually get to see my new doctor. And you know, I wasn't even surprised by the appointment snafu. This HMO seems to be largely staffed with morons, so my expectations are that things will not go the way they should. I am only surprised when things Do go the way they should. An example of this is a couple of weeks ago I called the dr. office to get a Synthroid refill, and I had to use an automated system where my request was recorded for posterity. I was convinced my prescription wouldn't be called in, so that when I called the pharmacy to check for it and it was there, I was shocked. I gasped and said, "you're kidding!", which was probably annoying, but I was genuinely very surprised. The staff in my new doctor's building was much more helpful than the staff in my old building, and I am happier than ever to have switched doctors. End of story.

I am finishing off a Diet Mountain Dew. It is the first diet soda I've had since the last time I backslid via a Diet Dr. Pepper. I tried to rationalize it by saying, "Moderation in all things", but then my brain said, "So moderation of poisonous chemicals is okay?". Stupid brain; it never lets me get away with these things.

Last night I finished the second slipper for my mother in law. The slippers turned out okay, but they have sort of a ragged, homemade look. Hopefully she will find that endearing. Francisco and I went on a quick errand last night to get dinner (Chinese food) and some baby blanket yarn at the Walmart, and can I just tell you, we found the best yarn. I headed for the chenille, but it was all in dark colors and not very suitable for a baby blanket. Francisco, meanwhile, lingered at the textured yarns, and he pointed out how soft and fluffy this one yarn was. I agreed, and it's So fluffy it qualifies as "bulky" which is what the pattern called for. The clincher was it came in this very pale pink and peach color--I could not have imagined a more girly yarn. It is perfect. It is also hard to work with because all that fluffy gets in the way, but I think I can finish it despite it taking me about an hour to do 5 rows. I know that because I worked on it during my lunch hour, and I got 5 rows done. It's too bad I can't take it onto the plane when we go for Xmas, but if they're confiscating nail clippers, they will definitely confiscate knitting needles. Even these blunt tipped circular needles, I'm sure. And these babies are an expensive pair (so I don't want them confiscated)--I got them because they have some coating that's supposed to make the knitting extra-fast, because the yarn slips better. The word 'turbo' is in the name of these needles. I believe they do make the knitting faster, but it's hard to tell with this fachacta yarn. Anyway, I'm excited to finish up this blanket--it will be the girliest thing ever, and my little niece, Lucia, definitely deserves the girliest things life has to offer.

Our office has been planning our holiday lunch, and we were just going to do the same old potluck, but then someone suggested we go out. Going out is not always popular, because the office does not pay for lunch, and some people who work here don't have much money. But this time people basically leapt at the chance to go out, and while Chili's seemed to temporarily be the favorite, it was thankfully passed up by some nicer restaurant choices. A few minutes ago an email was sent out proclaiming Parizade to be the winner, and I am happy about that because it is an excellent restaurant. Plus, we have a copy of the lunch menu and lunch there isn't that expensive. The horrible Mexican place (bowl of cheese) we went to a few months ago was at least as expensive, and no one seemed to balk at that. So I think it'll be okay with everyone, and I think I'll have the risotto with shrimp and artichoke hearts--it is one of the yummier menu options. The menu description says there is some sort of caramelized citrus broth involved, and all I can say is mmm�..caramelized citrus broth.

This morning Francisco and I actually got up and went to the gym. I woke up at 5:11 and was dismayed it was morning already, but I couldn't go back to sleep. A few minutes later Francisco whispered, very quietly, "Do you want to go to the gym?", and I said yes, because I want to stay up for West Wing tonight and if I stay up tonight I won't want to get up tomorrow morning. We went to the gym and I will enjoy West Wing all the more for having paid for it in sweat.

I have probably delighted you enough for one day, and I'm out of things to report anyway. Be careful out there among the English.

Love,

E

PS That last thing refers to the movie 'Witness' in which Amish people call non-Amish people 'the English'. I do not find actual English people dangerous or frightening. Maybe this does not require clarification, but I didn't want to be branded anti-English. I have enough troubles already. |

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