what was I thinking??
I talked to Francisco on the phone this afternoon and he said he's spoken to his mother and she wants me to teach her to knit while she's here for xmas. I said sure, but since we hung up I've been wondering if I'm up to the job. For one thing, it's not healthy to drink as much alcohol as I'm going to need in order to not kill her, and for another thing, I can just picture how it will go. Here is a sample scenario:
ME: Okay, so this is how you cast on. Do you see how I'm doing this?
ME: I'll do it slower. You just wind the yarn around your two fingers--
HER: I get it......like this?
ME: No. You just take the yarn like this--
HER: I don't understand. Wait--yes I do. Like this, right?
Lather, rinse, repeat with Every Single Step. Elsee will be nodding her head if she's reading this. I really do think I can teach her, but see, this is a woman who, when driving, gets lost no matter how good of directions you give her, and then she says she followed the directions exactly when clearly she didn't or she would not have gotten lost. So no matter how slowly we go over things, she's going to end up with knitting that looks like a dog chewed it, and she's going to say it's my fault. Such is the life of a daughter in law. Bartender!
The Boy is having a friend over to spend the night tonight, and they're going to a Fall Carnival (we're calling it the Fall Fester) at their school tonight. It's from 6 to 9, and when we asked Boy if he and his friend wanted to go, he hesitated and said, "Well, I don't know.......Are YOU going to be there?" So it's official--he's ashamed of us, which had to happen, and we're not offended so much as amused. We'll drop them off and give them money for dinner, and then pick them up 3 hours later. Woo-hoo! A school-sponsored date for me and Francisco.
Speaking of the Boy, I was going over his xmas list last night for my mom, and he is the most unrealistic child. On his list? He has 6 pairs of jeans. Come ON. 6 pairs?? By the time he finished wearing them all once they'd be too short. He has also listed 3 pairs of cargo pants, and I'm not sure what his obsession is with jeans and pants, but he's not getting that many pairs. Not even close. It's not like he doesn't already have a whole bunch of jeans and pants. I think it's because he's our only child (if you don't count the cats) and is used to not having to share the monetary resources with siblings, but if he thinks he's getting everything on his list (which also includes music, playstation games, and action figures) he's going to be sorely disappointed. I mean, I Told him he won't get everything on there, but you know kids--full of foolish optimism.
This is finally the weekend I make myself buy new bras, and no weaseling out this time. I will probably buy too many, since I hate bra shopping more than anything and want to avoid having to do again it for a long time, but whatever. I might also compound the misery and search for shoes--buying hard to fit items may as well be the shopping theme, right? I think I might also buy a couple more pairs of pants, inspired by the last pair I bought that I love very much. It IS possible to buy pants that fit! Who knew? Not me, that's who.
On Monday my office is having its annual Thanksgiving lunch, and as usual it took me a long time to figure out what I'm going to bring. The list filled up quickly with the essentials, so I decided to bring hummus for pre-meal snacking and salad for the meal proper. I'm just making my usual easy breezy lettuce, vinaigrette, and crunchy topping salad (this is what we have at home almost every night), and anyone who doesn't like it can not eat it. I'm not big on salads full of THINGS, with the exception of the salad I've had a few times with chopped broccoli, cauliflower, other veggies, halved grapes, bacon, and some kind of yummy dressing. But if you think I'm making that for my coworkers, you are out of your mind. When these potlucky things roll around, as they seem to do, my main concern is bringing the easiest possible thing, because generally? The favorite side dish is the ritz cracker, pineapple, and cheese casserole. These are southern people--they enjoy foods containing large amounts of crackers, and see, that's not what I cook. When I first started working here I would spend a lot of time making stuff for the potlucks, but after the severalth time of taking home almost 100% of what I brought, I learned my lesson.
You know, I think it's entirely possible there's a martini in my very near future. And I'm excited for the weekend because I get to sleep in! Of course, sleeping in for me is 8 at the latest, but still. Other than the heinous shopping I'm going to do this weekend, I don't really have plans, but I could definitely work on one of the 10 grillion craft projects I've got in mind for xmas gifts. I always do this--I always think two months in advance about what to make people for xmas, and then as xmas gets closer and closer I abandon more and more of the crafts until almost no one gets ho-made gifts. Maybe it's not too late to turn that around this year.
Have a great weekend!
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