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you men and your metabolism 2002-01-25 Our newest coworker is a man, and he is rather small and skinny. Yesterday he was complaining about his size. He said, "I eat all day but I can't gain any weight." I told him, "Well duh. You eat all day but you eat things like carrot sticks and hummus; these are not weight gaining foods. You want to gain weight? I can help you. Under my tutelage you'll be 300 pounds by the end of the year." He said that's not really the kind of weight he wants to gain, which I knew anyway. But still, if he wants to gain muscle, he'll have to eat more protein, and just more food in general, and he needs to lift weights, which he's not doing. Silly men. If I had a man metabolism, I'd put it to Such good use. Man metabolisms are wasted on men. Sisters, can I get an amen? This morning when I was getting ready for work, at about 7:15, the phone rang. I hustled to answer it, because Francisco was up late and was still sleeping. When I picked it up, no one was there. One minute later it rang again, and when I picked it up, there was some kind of static, but no one spoke. I was very irritated by this; I figured it was some kind of computer dialing system gone mad. When it rang again, 5 minutes later, I picked it up and shouted, "What?!?!". Much to my surprise, there was someone on the other end this time. It was, in fact, someone who had the treadmill we ordered and wanted to deliver it today. I tried to amend my previous rudeness with some major politeness, and I guess it's okay because the guy did end up delivering it this morning, but probably he thinks I'm the biggest bitch ever. Deservedly, of course, but it is still my opinion that calling before 8 am is too early to call, except in case of emergency, or when you know for a fact that the other party will be awake. I'm not going to gripe in my diary about Bill Phillips or Body for Life anymore. I chose to do the program, and though it has turned out to be harder than expected, that's just how it goes, and probably the very hardness of the program is the reason the end results are so dramatic for so many people. I will surely gripe to Catie via email, but that's different because she is suffering through the program also, and knows what I'm talking about. Which is something I am Very Thankful for. I will still talk about Body for Life in my diary, when I have something to say about it, but I'm not going to gripe anymore. And in the same non-complaining spirit, it is possible I may refrain from kicking Bill Phillips in the neck if I meet him in person someday, but frankly I can't promise anything. I am so bored at work, and I should be loving the quiet, since the hell season is just around the corner, but I'm not. This is probably because I still have to be stealthy if I want to roam around on the interweb, and still have to pretend to be working even though I have nothing to do. If I could just roam the web with impunity, I would be totally happy. Or read a book at my desk or something; that would be even better. Faking industry is so draining. Last night Boy spent much time on the web, playing games at the Cartoon Network site. I know when he's a teenager I will think back fondly to these earlier years when I didn't need to check in with his web use every few minutes. When he's a teenager, he will most undoubtedly be looking for porn, because even though he's a good boy, he's still a boy and his hormones will be rampant. You show me a teenage boy who honestly doesn't look for porn on the web when he thinks he can get away with it, and I will fall over dead from shock. For real. I don't have too much planned for the weekend. Tomorrow and Sunday both I will need to do some grocery shopping--I will do the grocery store one weekend day and Costco the other. Gotta stock up on the authorized Body for Life foods, you know. Sunday I will be lunching with Kimberly, and thankfully that's about all I have planned. Sunday is my free day, and it's going to be So Good. For breakfast I want to make either pancakes or French toast, and I will have peanut butter on whichever one I make, because I've been craving it. And maybe I'll also have bacon, because that is high on my list of cravings. For dinner I want to make bean burritos and I want to drink me some beer. Only one more day after today� Nothing else to report, and I need to go eat Tiny Meal #4. Have a great weekend, sugarloaves! Love, E
come over some time & see me - 2011-02-25 |
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