The weekend with The Shark was good. He drove me a little bit crazy a few times, mainly from things he does that are inconsiderate of others (he's gotten more considerate in the past year, but he's still a bit oblivious at times), and with some potentially implausible plans he's making. But we also had fun hanging out with him and had some good talks. The Best talk happened in the wee hours of Saturday morning, when I was asleep: He told Francisco that we were right about everything [Everything = the plan for him to finish school in Eugene and also the things we said about working hard in school]. Francisco did not get this on tape and did not wake me up and make Shark say it again, which is too bad because I would have liked to hear it.
I find it hard sometimes to spend time with the Shark (particularly when he makes implausible plans), because on the one hand, I truly want to be very loving and supportive of him and his future plans, but on the other hand I'm afraid to do too much for him like my parents did for my brother, because I want him to become independent far earlier than my brother did (late 30s. I know, right?). The implausible plan-making ignites all my fears that he won't become independent of us when he should (because I foresee the plans he's making not coming to fruition, at which point he would want to be supported instead of supporting himself), and in reaction to the ignition of these fears, I can feel myself being less supportive than I should be. I'm going to talk to him about this whole issue, because I want him to know that I love him very much but that sometimes my fear/concern over this issue causes me to not show the love I feel the way I should. Fortunately he's mature enough that we can have these types of conversations, and usually we can see each others' points of view.
In other weekend news, I got out from under some projects that were causing anxiety, and exerted control over things that felt overwhelming. So my anxiety is lessened and I am not going to start (or determine to start) any more projects until the ones on my list are all crossed off. I have staved off the necessity for anti-anxiety meds for now--Hooray! Also this weekend I bought some new nail polish (shade: Lincoln Park After Dark) and some new lip gloss, both of which are being worn at this very moment (the polish on toes, not fingers. I'm not much of a fingernail polish person--it gets chipped within hours and I'm too lazy to do a daily manicure). We got some tomato cages as well and more seeds for the garden; the lettuces are about done (they're bolting) so we're going to pull them up and put other things in. Parsnips, collards, a second batch of spinach, some cilantro, a second batch of lettuces. And I'm going to plant flowers on the south side of the house where I wanted to plant blueberries but didn't get around to it. /gardening segment
Last night Francisco and I started development on The Drink of Summer 2009. It will be a variation on a Grapefruit Drop and will involve pink grapefruit juice (duh), grapefruit vodka, rosemary-infused simple syrup, and club soda. I determined last night that club soda is a necessity, because I love the taste of grapefruit so much that I find it hard to daintily sip a grapefruit drink the way I should. This drink has got to be made larger and weaker so I can avoid alcohol poisoning. Once the recipe has been perfected, I will post if for anyone who's interested.
I'm worried about my poor Esther. She's been very aggravating in the mornings since Lucy died; she comes in way too early and meows stridently. Then she walks on us while meowing stridently. If we ignore her, she goes into the hall and does this crazy loud mournful meowing. I got up with her too early on Saturday and Sunday, because Francisco was sleeping in our room while Shark was in the guest room, and he hadn't gone to sleep either night until at least 3 a.m. so I didn't want him awakened. I think she's lonely, but I don't understand why she won't sleep with us like she used to. She got spooked by the bedroom in the week after Lucy died (I think Lucy's ghost visited us, but I won't go into the whole story of why I think that), but that was about 6 weeks ago and she still won't spend any time in the bedroom. I hope she's able to adjust soon, for her own sake. Also it would be nice to be able to sleep past 6:00 if I want to.
All for today, I think.
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