|
the sex balls that weren't 2002-02-15 I've been downloading and listening to a lot of Tenacious D today. Such love I have for them... This morning Francisco, in response to a wee bit of nagging on my part, got us ticket to see David Sedaris. I can't remember the date he's going to be in town, but it's in a month or so, and I can hardly wait. I love David Sedaris--he makes me laugh until I want to throw up. And people, that's some good laughing. In my earlier post I recounted the choking dream I had last night. But this morning just before I woke up, I was having a bizarre dream about living in a fascist state. I was at my sister-in-law and her husband's house, except in the dream it was a different house than their actual house. This house was a huge and really cool loft, and it was built right next to a body of water. Anyway, as I said, fascists were in charge and my brother-in-law was in The Resistance. I worked at my niece's pediatrician's office, and she had an appointment for later in the day. My brother-in-law was paranoid about bringing her in. He thought I might get replaced by a robot that looked exactly like me and he thought the robot might kidnap his baby and arrest him. So he kept asking me if I would show him my identification when he came into the office, and I kept saying I would. That's the most coherent thing I remember from the dream, and when the alarm went off and woke me up, I was all disoriented. What I wanted more than anything was to go immediately back to sleep, but that's the problem with Body for Life. One is not allowed to sleep in. It's not really a problem, per se, since it is good to get up and lift weights and all that, but sometimes I would love it if I could sleep longer. So, I'm happy it's the weekend, but on the other hand, when I get home that kid Tony will be there. Remember Tony? [I just tried to find the entry in which I talked about Tony, but no dice.] Boy asked if he could have Tony over for the evening (not to spend the night but just to play, have dinner, and go home), and we agreed. I'm not a fan of Tony, but Tony's mom has had Boy over since the last time Tony was at our house, and I feel we ought to reciprocate. It's only fair. Francisco checked out some films about Buddhism, to screen to see if he wants to show them to his class (he's teaching an Intro to Religion course this semester), and we will watch those tonight. Ha HA-that'll keep the kids in Boy's room! Tomorrow morning we have our errand to the luggage repair place and the brew shop, but those are the only plans we have for the weekend. I just started reading the Lord of the Rings, so that should fill my time when I'm not doing chore things. Okay, get this. A few years ago, before I knew what a big ass my boss is, I decided I would give him a little gift, for boss's day or something. I went to the local witchy store (it's new age, not witchy, but I had a friend who used to call new age stores 'witchy', and it stuck) and I bought him some of those Chinese meditation balls. The chime-y ones you worry in your hand, and they make a soothing sound. Do you know, when I gave those to him, he looked aghast and told me they are ben wa (sp?) balls, to be used for sexual purposes. Now, this is not true. I have catalogues--I've seen those sexual balls and these ain't them. I told him he was wrong. He clearly doubted me, so I offered to take them back but he said "No, that's okay". So he's kept them in his office, but he still thinks they're the sex balls, and that grates on me. When anyone notices the box they are stored in, he probably lowers his voice and tells him he got them as a gift from some ignorant person who doesn't know what they are. I can totally picture him doing that. He's out of town right now, and I was just in his office to leave him a file. I saw the meditation ball box in his office, and the whole thing irked me all over again, so I stole them. He'll probably never miss them, but if he does, I will simply deny all knowledge. It works for politicians; it can work for me. I used to think the Last boss I had was an ass. And he was, but at least he was Aware he was an ass. A good thing about him was that we could fight with him about things, and after the fight was over, it would be like it never happened. My current boss, you can't fight with him about anything, and should you say something that displeases him, he won't speak to you for days. My last boss has some strange qualities, but I would rather work for him, even though he was woefully technologically challenged. An example of this is, once every few months, someone would mess with his phone and totally trick him. What we'd do is, you know the button that depresses when the receiver is hung up? We would tape that button down so that even when the receiver was off the phone, the phone wasn't active. And every time, he would shout for someone to call a telephone repairman. Another example of his technological deficiency is, once we had a problem with our electricity; the electricity was off in the back of the office, where my cubicle was. My computer was on the faulty circuit and all the lights were off above my desk. We called to get it repaired, and later that day it had been fixed. My boss came back from wherever he was, came in the back door and stopped at my desk, where I was working at my computer. "Is the electricity back on?," he asked, bathed in the glow of electric light. Actually, now that I think about it, that was an example not so much about his technology problem, but more about his general inattention to everything. Anyway, I could tell you stories about my former boss all day, but suffice it to say, I made a bad decision when I came to work for Assy MacAss. (Of the Durham MacAsses.) I am a hateful person, but seriously, people who have survived working for this man should start a support group. Did you hear about the corduroy pillows? They're making headlines. And with that, I big you adieu. Have a really good weekend! Love,
come over some time & see me - 2011-02-25 |
design by simplify
