rather dark

2006-04-05

Last night when I got home, Francisco mentioned that Sharky's mom had called up out of the blue, and then called back 3 more times in the space of an hour, because she kept thinking of other things to say or other contact information to give us. And as usual when she contacts us, I felt both unease at her surfacing and a violent, raging hatred for her. In fact, it will be difficult to talk about this without resorting to the foulest language imaginable, but I'm going to try. The reason I get so angry is the way she completely forgets about Sharky for months or years at a time, but then is suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to call and Sharky has to drop whatever he's doing (Francisco was cutting his hair so that got interrupted 4 times) to talk to her and satisfy whatever need prompted her phone call in the first place. Because it's absolutely all about her, all the time. She's in California right now, in some kind of drug treatment facility, and it is my great hope that she'll just stay down there when she's finished her program, because if we have to be on the same coast as she is (after our move), I'd prefer as many miles between us as possible. Her sister is living down there now, and apparently she has a boyfriend there as well (she gave Francisco the boyfriend's address and phone number), so she would have incentive to stay. My fingers are firmly crossed on that one. Really I would prefer she had the good manners to die and relieve us all of her existence, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen any time soon. Anyway, at 9:20 the phone rang again and it was Sharky's cousin (his mom's sister's son), so Sharky talked to him and then to his aunt, and then the aunt wanted to talk to me. Mere profanities cannot express my dismay at that; I'm not great on the phone anyway, but I'm especially not keen on talking to someone I barely know and who apparently thinks we are friends. His aunt is not a bad person, and I don't really dislike her, but she has the same "out of sight, out of mind" mentality when it comes to Sharky--she got all emotional talking to him last night, and I'm thinking HELLO you could've talked to him anytime you wanted to since the last time you saw him in December of 2004. She and Sharky's mom seem to think we change addresses and phone numbers as often as they do, when actually we've had the same address and phone number the whole time Sharky's been with us. Do they not own address books? I just hate the way they pop in and out of his life, especially the way his mom does it, because she always promises she's going to call him again soon, or write to him frequently, and she might follow up once or twice, but then we won't hear from her for months. Poor Sharky is still waiting for those Christmas presents she told him she was mailing back in December of 2003 (well, he's not Waiting, but he never got them, is my point). I love not hearing from her, but I always have to wonder when she'll turn up next; it's like knowing a bear is outside your cabin but not knowing when he'll smash through the window and try to rip your face off. Just so you know, if Sharky was thrilled to hear from her when she calls, I'd just suck it up and deal with it, but he doesn't seem to care, probably because he knows she'll make promises she won't keep and will then disappear again. I don't ever say anything bad about his mom to Sharky or within his earshot, but I'll bet you can guess what Francisco and I were talking about when we went on our walk yesterday evening.

Oh, and the cherry in the Manhattan yesterday was when his aunt was getting ready to hang up, she said something about maybe she could come and visit after we're settled in Washington. Appalled, I managed to stammer out something like, "we could talk about that", but I imagine our talk would go something like:

US: Oh, you want to visit? Where do you plan to stay, because we unfortunately don't have anywhere for you to sleep.
HER: Never mind.

As I said, I don't dislike her, but it would be way too weird to have her staying with us, even if we had room, which we legitimately will not.

It's been a few minutes since I wrote the above, and I've been thinking about not posting it after all, but if I don't post it I won't have anything to say, so post it I will. Thanks for letting me get all this off my chest--I usually try to keep things light in here, but occasionally the non-light wins out.

Love,
E

PS Wait, I do have one other thing to tell you, though it's not that important. Last night we got out our US atlas and mapped the route we're going to take on our move. I'm super excited about it because we're going to go through Wisconsin, Minnesota, and North Dakota--those states fascinate me a little bit and I've never been there. We'll go through other states we've never been through, but I'm most excited about those northern ones. |

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