I'm really popeular
Did you watch the Poping? I just happened to catch it when I went downstairs for something; some of my coworkers had turned on the TEEvee and we stood around and watched it. None of us are Catholic; we just wanted to get the hell out of our offices for a little while--it's been a bad day. But what's up with the name Benedict XVI? That is So Boring. Last night Francisco, Boy, and I were talking about names we would choose if we were pope, and Benedict was not anywhere near the lists we were making. I mean, if you could choose any name, wouldn't you select something with a little more flash? My chosen name would be Pope Microsoft Windows II, because omg that would present such a dilemma for Bill Gates. On the one hand, it's good advertising, but on the other there's the whole trademark violation thing, and you KNOW Gates wouldn't want the pope using his product name, but what's he going to do? Would he actually sue the pope? That would get him some pretty bad press, I'm thinking, especially after I went out of my way to bless all members of the press everywhere, which I would totally do as Pope in order to head Bill Gates off at the pass, right after I appointed a monkey as my special assistant and named him XP Professional. I would be one wily-ass Pope, for sure.
On a side note, I had a little daydream about how the conclave ended earlier today. In my daydream, they elected the new pope, started the signal fire burning, and then a disco ball descended from the ceiling and the music started: EVERYBODY DANCE NOW! BUM! BUM! BUM BUM BUM BUM! BUM! BUM! BUM BUM EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!...and the cardinals started really tearing it up, just dancing and cavorting and snorting lines of coke off each other's asses like there was no tomorrow. It was a very enjoyable daydream, I have to tell you. It's too bad the reality was probably so boring we would all fall asleep just hearing about it. I think Catholicism would get a real boost in popularity if they could try and make it a little bit fun, you know? Also what would be great is if they took advantage of modern technology and, oh, I don't know, signaled the election of a new pope with something a little more definitive than smoke signals? Joyce! Take a letter.
Francisco and I got up early today and took a walk, and then we had coffee and watched the Daily Show--this is my ideal morning ritual. I was feeling quite good today until I got to work and began getting deluged with phone calls and emails, because at this point I can't see how in the world I will call/email everyone back and do all the other stuff I'm supposed to get done. I sort of want to give up and lay down on the floor of my office, but my boss would probably frown upon that kind of behavior. I don't know what to do first, so I'm sort of frozen in an indecision-induced paralysis, but I think I'm going to have to just start with whatever is closest and go from there. So, uh. I guess I'll go do that now.
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