Look! That Peach Has a Penis!
We made the 8 hour round trip drive today to retrieve the Boy from camp, and he is clean and reposing in fresh pajamas at this very moment. When we picked him up he was filthy; stinky and just totally manky, especially his feet. He took off his shoes in the car and we were like, "what. is that smell?" Shoes went back on and stayed on until they were thrown in the garbage upon arriving home. They were a little too small anyway. Boy's clothes were all grimy and disgusting, and upon questioning he admitted that he had "missed" the laundry every week, so none of his clothes have been washed for 3 weeks, including underwear. I do not want to think about it. They're washing now and hopefully the washer will not clog with dirt.
On the way back, we accidentally went the wrong way on one of the highways and journeyed into South Carolina for a few miles. We were all hungry so we stopped for lunch and then drove a few more miles south to connect up with the I-85, which we took straight on til morning, er, home. Boy slept half the return trip, which is good because he needed it.
Here is a sampling of some of the things we saw on the drive.
1) On a bathroom door, one of those outlines of a figure in a skirt (to indicate the women's bathroom), and written below it in pen, "and Troy". I don't know who Troy is, but that's sort of funny.
2) Inside that bathroom, a condom dispenser with "slimmer fit" condoms. If that's not the most tactful euphemism ever, I don't know what is.
3) On the marquee at a mall -- "Westward Heights Mime Team". Enough said.
4) 'Hester's Forklifts'
5) Spray painted on an overpass -- "Sorry but I love you Baby Felecia". I have no idea what that means, especially because it wasn't punctuated.
6) The Gaffney peach.
There were other things I could mention, like the two identical dogs near the camp who were both limping. Francisco thinks it's more likely they both learned that limping gets them sympathy than that they were both injured in the exact same foot. I don't know which it was, but they weren't strays so I'm going to have to let their people sort it out.
Francisco bought the camera a new memory card that is Great! I can take hundreds and hundreds of pictures on this one card, and that is Exactly what I plan to do. I can't believe that in a week I'm going to be on a plane to Scotland. I'm a little scared but I know it's going to be a really fun trip.
I worked all day yesterday and will be taking tomorrow off to see Boy and do some trip shopping. I just need a few things but I want to get them all tomorrow so I don't feel stressed about it all week.
Today during the trip I was remembering how I read The Amityville Horror when I was in junior high and it freaked me out so much I didn't want to have it in the house overnight (I had checked it out from the town library that morning and read it in one day--it was summer). I begged my mom to take me to the library so I could turn it in, and she rightfully accused me of being silly, but I begged and pleaded and cried until she agreed. Why I didn't think to just lock the book in the car overnight, I do not know, but I do know I felt a lot better once that scary book was back in the library where it belonged. Kids are nutty.
I think that's all I have for now.
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