Yesterday was my big appointment with the internal medicine doctor. I was totally prepared: Two page list of things to talk about/ask about, check. Xanax swallowed, check. I had great success with not crying this time, but the Xanax was a half-fail, because I was still quite anxious, AND when the nurse took my pulse it was 112 beats per minute. I think that was a Xanax side-effect, actually; I looked it up on the internet afterwards. My point is, I was probably Less anxious than if I'd not taken the Xanax, but it was not the glorious miracle drug I was hoping for.
The best thing about the appointment (and by best, I mean worst) is that after a few minutes it was clear the doctor and I had completely different agendas for the meeting. He was just checking in on my IBS, whereas I was still seeking a cure. SPOILERS: No cure was forthcoming. As my last question, I asked him if I could try the antibiotic and he said no--he says my situation is different from the situation of the people in the test group [the IBS people who tested the antibiotic], so there's no reason to think the Rifaxamin would work for me. [You know, the more I think about all the stuff he's told me in the course of three appointments, the less sense it all makes. There have been some contradicting statements, which is frustrating and maddening.] Oh, but he DOES want me to get my ovaries ultrasounded, to check for ovarian cancer. Apparently the symptoms of ovarian cancer are quite similar to what I've been experiencing. I asked him if he thought I caught cancer on my Hawaiian vacation, and he had to admit cancer is not likely, but says he'll sleep better at night if I have it checked. I'm pretty sure he'll sleep fine anyway, but I'm overdue for my annual exam so I went home and made an appointment for next month. I'll be seeing my regular doctor's fill-in doctor, and that's fine with me, because maybe a different person will have a different opinion. One thing we are Definitely going to discuss is the bungling of my giardia test, because I found out it was done wrong and I am pissed and I think they need to do it over again.
Meh--I'm sick of talking about it. In closing on this topic I'll just tell you I'm considering various options at this point that include seeing the medical intuitive for a tune-up (will probably do this), seeing an acupuncturist, buying a 6 month colon cleanse from the internet (probably not), becoming a Buddhist, taking up yoga, seeing a naturopath. You'll note there are no allopathic options on the table, because those assholes have made it clear they're not going to help me, so I have to turn to the hippies. I even asked the doctor if there was any quackery he could suggest I try, and he seemed confused but suggested regular, intense exercise. I have decided to take up manhunting and I will give him one hour's head start.
In other news, summer is practically over, and I'm not ready. At the end of every other summer in recent memory, I've been ready for it to be over and have started fantasizing about sweaters, but this summer was so not summery here. We had a few hot days, but mostly it was unseasonably cool, and we have loads of unripened produce in the garden. The tomatoes we can pick green and bring in and place on every flat surface in the house for ripening, but what about the melons? I don't believe they continue ripening after being picked, but maybe I should check on that. Anyway, I could do with a week of 100+ degree temperatures before fall sets in, but I don't think I'm going to get it. Everyone seems to be predicting a super cold, super snowy winter for our area, and I won't mind at all except I hate when Francisco has to patrol in snow; it just seems too dangerous to me.
Something I've been wondering: Can I get away with matching hats for my nieces, instead of sweaters? I'm starting to feel like three sweaters (albeit little ones) are more knitting than I want to do this fall. Maybe I throw in some mittens also.
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