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not my best entry 2002-04-16 My misanthropy is running at 90% capacity today and I'm not sure how much more I can take. It's not that the people I've been seeing are mean or nasty, it's just that I'm seeing So Many people, and they all want something. It's like every person I see today puts a one pound weight on me. One pound is no big problem, but those weights are adding up into a big burden that is hard to carry. [gasp!] Oh my god, people! Do you realize what I just did? I wrote Angst!! I mean sure, it's amateurish and not all That angsty--I guess it's more like Angst Light--but angst nonetheless. I can assure you this does not signal a trend. I'm just cranky and my head is threatening a migraine, and I'm tired of smiling and acting concerned when in actuality my heart is withered and stony. Plus it's damn hot here--almost 90 degrees. Not something I would expect from mid-April, and surely I should have planted tomatoes two weeks ago. But I digress. Earlier today someone from the Red Cross called me and asked me to donate. I consented to do it next month--on the 14th--because I know that they won't want my blood after I get back from Europe. Not for at least 6 months, due to the mad cow thing, and during those 6 months I will surely get another tattoo, which will knock me off their calling list for a year. Which is fine. But anyway, it occurs to me that the call from the Red Cross is like a metaphor for my whole job lately; nothing is enough for some of these rapacious people, they want my lifeblood! End of angst. So, not a good sleep again last night. It was hot and we had the windows open, and we were awakened at midnight or so when something blew off the kitchen windowsill. Then apparently Francisco couldn't get back to sleep, so he got up and went up to his office for about 3 hours, which kept me from sleeping deeply, what with the floor creaking and miscellaneous small noises. I would've loved to stay in bed this morning, but I had to be a grownup, which sucks. I got up when I heard Boy get up and turn on the shower, and I did the treadmill and made my lunch, and then had an inner debate about the stupid picture day at Boy's school--it was today. Boy had brought home a flier about it, and an envelope. but there was no price for the picture anywhere. This is just a class picture, not an individual picture, because the individual ones were last fall. I would've liked to buy the picture for him, but without knowing the price, it is tough to send the money to school. I strongly suspect that Boy's class was told the price and told to each write it on the envelope and that he neglected to do it, but I have no proof. I had to just tell him sorry, no picture, and he wasn't disappointed or anything, but it frustrates me when this kind of thing happens. I worked through lunch today so that I can leave early and do some errands. I need to return some videos and take Francisco's suitcase/backpack to the cleaners (it is rather mildewed), and I need to get some groceries. I also need to take a couple of books to the library and call in Boy's Nasonex prescription and my Metrogel prescription (you should see my skin--it is so nice and smooth), and the only real reason I am enumerating these things here is so I will remember them later. I made an appointment for Boy to see the doctor about his feet, because they continue to hurt. I can't imagine why this is, since his shoes are all very new and fit well (especially the $70 running shoes we got him for track--they were fitted by running shoe professionals), so he's going to see the doctor on the 30th. It was the soonest they would take him, because he is not barfing or coughing up a lung. That dr. office has only two categories--sick children and well children who need checkups. This frustrates me; they need a middle category. I have been observing Lucy and she isn't limping anymore, but periodically she's still favoring the leg. The monitoring continues and if she doesn't get better soon, she's going to have to see the vet. I'm glad she has no way to know that beforehand, because if she did she would be under the bed and I'd never see her again. Francisco needs to go to the dentist for a checkup and cleaning and I need to get some new contact lenses. Once all the above are accomplished, things will be better but I'm sure there will be other things that need doing. I don't know why this shit stresses me out so much. I don't have anything to say about last night because I got a migraine and didn't do anything noteworthy. So......yeah. I guess that's it. Probably there will be a better entry tomorrow. Love,
come over some time & see me - 2011-02-25 |
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