for the record, I have never killed any babies


I dreamt last weekend that I was taking care of someone's baby daughter (the baby was maybe 10 months old) and that the woman had asked me to bring the baby to some little fair, because she and the baby's father would be there. She instructed me to walk up to them and hand the baby to the dad, so in the dream I did that and he was throwing the baby in the air and catching her and she was squealing in delight. And then he threw her up high and she kind of tumbled in the air and he didn't catch her and she fell right on her forehead and was dead of a broken spine. In the dream I was so horrified and upset that I took off running and crying and then I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep for awhile, and the dream is still bothering me when I remember it. I have dreams waaay too often about babies in my care being injured or killed, and yet no actual baby has ever been harmed on my watch. Not that I've babysat for many years, but when I used to do it, all babies were safe. Not sure what those dreams are Really about, but I'm ready for them to go away now.

This morning I emailed my sister's friend whose family friend is a tv producer, and I described the reality show idea to her. Except that it's a totally different idea than I had before, because I have become convinced that the first idea is economically not feasible--it would be very expensive and reality tv is supposed to be cheap tv, right? The idea I sent her is one that Francisco and I thought up last night, and not only would it be entertaining to watch, it would be very cheap to make. The other idea would've been some good television, but there were a lot of difficulties that would need to be resolved, and most of them would need to be resolved by spending money. This new idea is good television too, and at a fraction of the cost. We shall see what happens, and still, I'm not getting my hopes up.

Boy spent the night at his friend, Tony's, house last night, so we had tofu for dinner and watched the Robin Williams' Live on Broadway dvd my sister sent Francisco for his birthday (very funny). Neither of us slept well last night (it was hot, Esther coughed, and personally I couldn't stop brainstorming about the new tv show idea) so instead of taking a walk this morning, we sat on the couch and watched last night's Daily Show and drank coffee. We have Got to stop being so damn lazy; starting tomorrow.

I had someone coming in to see me today at 10:30, and I knew she would be late, because she called at 9:00 and said she was just leaving Charlotte, but it shouldn't take 3 1/2 hours to get here, so she's probably lost. And I keep expecting her to get here, so I'm reluctant to start anything that will take a lot of concentration, and I'm sort of in a state of suspended animation right now. Hurry up, lady!



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come over some time & see me - 2011-02-25
let's not say goodbye - 2011-02-23
the Rachel Zoe collection - 2011-02-10
I feel happy today - 2011-02-04
the tiny snow stalker - 2011-01-25

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