I need a little room to breathe

2008-04-08

It would have been better if I'd figured this out before spending a lot of money on a digital SLR*, but I realized a couple days ago that the photos I've taken that I'm happiest with are almost all from film, so I want to focus on film photography for at least the time being. It's hard to say exactly why I like the film photos better, but I think it's because with film the colors are rarely completely true to life, and I just.....like that. I like the colors to be a little off. I was thinking about this because I was looking through the prints I have (from film) last weekend, and also I finally finished up the roll of slide film I had in the Smena 6, and took it in for cross processing today. Also I've been working on finishing the film in the Master Blaster (as I've mentioned before, it's hard to get through a 24 roll with that camera, as it requires taking 96 photos), so film's been kind of on my mind lately, in general. I've been fortunate enough to score a number of rolls of expired film (have amassed them over months of thrift shopping) and plan to load a roll into the Smena when I finish the Master Blaster roll. I tell you this not because I think it will fascinate you, but because I'm just so in love with the Smena that thinking about taking a lot of photos with it makes me happy. I should maybe buy a second one to have as backup, because if this one breaks I will be very sad.

Good News: Francisco received and accepted a conditional offer of employment yesterday morning from the county sheriff's office. They do a background check, a psych evaluation, and a polygraph test before making the employment offer final. Francisco had to do a psych evaluation and polygraph for them previously, when he was applying to be a reserve deputy, so he's not worried about those, and he's not Worried about the background check either, but it seems to be quite involved. I'm not sure how long those things will all take, but I would think they should be done in maybe three weeks at the longest, and then he'll find out when they want him to start. The soonest would be July, and the soonest he will start his 4 and a half month training at the police academy is sometime in September. This is all I know for right now.

The past couple of days have been emotionally grueling and I don't feel much like writing about it. Suffice it to say the Shark is miserable (he broke up with his girlfriend) and I'm unhappy partly because of his misery, but I'm also unhappy because work has really kicked the torture into high gear in the last couple of weeks. I'm also Also unhappy because my hormones are raging and this is turning the volume of every bad moment or bad incident up to 11. Yesterday I started crying in my office because a woman I'd been helping suddenly turned on me and said some very nasty things via email. There are a lot of people I expect to be nasty, but she had been pleasant up until that point, so the nastiness took me off guard and was just incredibly disheartening. It makes me wonder why I even bother, you know?

I'm sure I'll recover from all my drama, and one way or the other the Shark will recover from his, but I hope both our recoveries can come about pretty soon, because I'm tired of being sad and edgy.

A good thing is I just finished a fantastic book Catie recommended a long time ago: Eat, Pray, Love. I bought it last week when I happened to see it in a new gift shop/bookstore in town, and OH I'm so glad I did. What a great book--I would like to add my recommendation to Catie's.

Another good thing is I've been getting a lot of small, naggy projects done, and it feels good to not have to think about those things anymore.

The beer Francisco made is very delicious--I drank some this weekend. I'm trying to think of positive things to write about, in case you couldn't tell. I painted my toenails this weekend--that's positive, right? And yesterday I had blood taken to test my thyroid levels, now that it's been 6-ish weeks on the new prescription, and I was such a brave girl that the phlebotomist drew a smiley face on my bandaid.

Last Saturday I went to a sale at the university's surplus warehouse--it was a silent auction for most things. I bid on an overhead projector, on two electronic-type consoles I wanted to hang on the wall and plug in so they'd light up, and on a large metal wall cabinet. Based on my coworker already hearing that she won her items and me not hearing about mine, I guess I was outbid for all three. This will not deter me from attending future sales--there were some really weird and cool things up for sale.

I think that's all I have to say for today.
Love,
E

*I still love my D80, though. I mean really.

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cats-kittens

come over some time & see me - 2011-02-25
let's not say goodbye - 2011-02-23
the Rachel Zoe collection - 2011-02-10
I feel happy today - 2011-02-04
the tiny snow stalker - 2011-01-25

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