what did the freaks do beFore the internet?
The interweb has really been a boon to freaks and fetishists of all kinds. This morning I discovered that one of my entries had been copied to a site for foot fungus fetishists (say That three times fast), and that members of this fetish group have also been coming over to read my diary. The entry in question was one where I talked about getting foot fungus from the shower at the gym....sexay! Please, what kind of freak is turned on by foot fungus?! I would link to the site where my entry is incorporated, but "coincidentally" this morning, after I ranted to the AtomicFriends about this and linked to the place, the site was closed to non-members. How nice--they can read my diary but I can't check their site to see if my entry is still up over there. So here's an open letter to them:
Dear Gavin/James and random fungus freaks,
I have put a curse on you. If you don't take my diary entry off your site, your penises will dry up and fall off and dogs will snatch them up and run away with them. You'll never see your precious penises again, because when the dogs are tired of playing with them, they will chew them up and swallow them. One day later they will poop your penises out and the poop will be grabbed into plastic bags and thrown into garbage cans, eventually to arrive at a landfill, where they will rot for all eternity. I doubt the dogs will gain significant nourishment from your penises, because they are undoubtedly tiny and frail even now, beFORE the dessication begins. You should all seek professional help, but I'm sure you are too obese to leave your homes, so you'll never get the counseling you need, and that is a shame.
Last night Francisco made salmon filets with blood orange sauce, mashed potatoes, and salad. It was fanTAStic. I had my lemon drop, and then I had a caipirinha (recipes courtesy of Atomic)--both delicious, but I think I should maybe stick to wine or beer on work nights, because otherwise I get a little too loopy. After dinner I cleaned up and started yet Another scarf (this time for Francisco's mom, because she admired mine at Xmas) and I'm a little tired of scarves now, so this will be my last one for awhile. West Wing was really good, I felt; even better than usual. I think everyone knew Will was permanently replacing Sam, but the way they made that happen was nice--I believe I even misted up a tiny bit (I am a schmuck). And I've never been a big proponent of the Josh/Donna relationship, but even that was pretty cool last night. I give the episode two thumbs up. And I still say Danny needs a haircut--what's with the unruly mop? It is not attractive.
I need to remind everyone (because it is my way) that the newest Survivor starts tonight. Men against women, and here is my prediction: The men's tribe is going to struggle for the first few days, while they jockey for the top dog positions. After the struggle, things will mostly settle down, though of course there will be some pissing matches. The women's tribe will do fine the first few days and they will talk about how well they get along (except in private), but after they're all hungry and tired there will be some really great arguments, and the backbiting will escalate and there will be a lot of silent fuming and ranting to the cameras and crying. I can hardly wait. Hmm, it occurs to me that my prediction is rather obvious, but at any rate, I'm going to enjoy it. The Amazon, people! Burrowing parasitic worms and all sorts of pestilence! I've been wanting them to do the Amazon from the beginning--I guess they finally got my memo.
The mysterious across the street construction continues. They're digging holes in the ditch with a backhoe, so I assumed there was some water or sewer pipe problem, but then they lit a fire in something and kept it going for a couple of hours. It was such a small fire and my vision is so poor I couldn't see what was burning (also it is in the shade), but I think the fire was in a barrel. So it's a complete mystery, and extremely annoying.
Going to do some work now.
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