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Do Not Eat 2005-02-09 Did I ever tell you I save dessicant? Those little packets that come in various things but which you DO NOT EAT? I save them because I think it's funny to enclose them with letters or packages I mail, except I almost always forget to stick them into my letters or packages. Why am I telling you this? I'm not sure, but once again I forgot to put dessicant into a package that's going out today. The DO NOT EAT collection is growing. So far three people have come forward as former undercover flashlight readers: Diana (no weblog, though if she wrote one it'd be brilliant), Elle-78, and Charlie. As I just said to Charlie in her Comments, I wish I'd been able to purchase a headlamp (headwear of coal miners and spelunkers) when I was a kid, because it would've made undercover reading a lot easier. I sort of want one now, but what for? If I lived in Svalbard it would come in handy during the arctic winter, but if I lived in Svalbard I would also be menaced by polar bears* whilst getting frostbite, so there are tradeoffs to everything. Francisco got momentarily freaked out today when he received a spam with the title "Don't be a moron, Francisco". This is because his name isn't Actually Francisco, so he thought for a second we'd been stalked and FOUND, when actually someone just wanted to enlarge his penis, as usual. Trust me, spam senders, he's doing Just Fine with what he's got. Oh yeah. I will only say this once: Get thee hence to Fireland, for it is great. This entry was the kind that packs such a wallop of funnyness that I can't even laugh because I'm stunned by the genius. Good writer. My new Super-Secret Fictional Imaginary Boyfriend, Kirk, wasn't featured on Gilmore Girls last night--can you believe that?? Just when I was all ready to attempt to find him attractive! How can we have an imaginary relationship if I rarely see him? I might have to rethink this boyfriend choice, but I'll defer that decision until next Tuesday. Hey, rollerskates seem to be making a comeback! And I do mean skates, not blades. Granted this declaration is based on limited research, specifically from watching music videos on MTV, but there were rollerskates in 3 separate videos we saw yesterday, plus one commercial, and that seems promising. I so LOVE skates; I hope they come roaring back in with a vengeance and kick blades to the curb. Blades are one of my inanimate nemeses. This morning Francisco and I got up at 6:00, and not to go to the gym. No, we got up at 6 so we could watch 'House', which Dennis had recorded for us last night, and if that doesn't speak to our love for that show, nothing will. I know I talked about House last week, but I want to reiterate that it is a kickass show, and in fact is our new favorite. Watch, watch!! Oh, and speaking of television things, I read this afternoon on Defamer that the Fox Network has reduced the number of episodes of Arrested Development they're ordering, because the ratings aren't improving. And I understand that networks are in it for the ratings and therefore the advertising revenue, but I've always despised how quick Fox is to jettison their REALLY GOOD SHOWS due to low ratings. Arrested Development got, like, a ho-jillion [TM Juan] Emmys, but Fox will end up cancelling the show anyway if fewer people watch than they're aiming for. I have to say, and please know I am speaking from the heart, here: Fox? Fuck you and the whore you rode in on. If you'd rather make shitty shows that get watched by a lot of people than make good shows with fewer viewers, then you do what you have to do. But I won't watch your network if you get rid of Arrested Development, and though I am not supposed to reveal this and will therefore be speaking in code for the next part of this sentence, which begins right Now, we are an eilson-nay amily-fay, so my boycott of your network will be Registered, and also? I will already never forgive you for cancelling Firefly, but if you also cancel Arrested Development, I will find some cunning yet nonviolent way of getting even with you, and also? I hate you. That is all. Ahhh, there's nothing like spewing a little venom at the end of a workday to relax a girl. I think I need a cigarette, and I don't smoke. Talk to you later, friends. * Fun fact about polar bears! Eating polar bear liver will kill you, as it would give you a massive overdose of Vitamin A. I mean, not that you should eat any part of polar bears, at ALL, but I'm just saying. Hey, it's not for nothing that I went to college. |
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