I don't know...does that sound too desperate?
Still feeling a bit work-dazed, but can I just gripe for a minute? Why must exercise be so damn trendy? I can understand trendyness in fashion, but trendyness in exercise is just stupid. I went to 3 stores on Sunday, trying to find a step aerobics tape (or dvd) and came up empty. But the stores had puh-lenty of tapes and dvds on pilates, yoga, and bellydancing, because that's what the stupid movie stars are doing. I like yoga and it would be fun to try the other 2, but I'm irked that apparently step aerobics is so far out of style that it is impossible to get a tape. I Know it's out of vogue--DUH--but that doesn't mean it's not still fun.
Dear Exercise Tape Vendors,
Could you stop being so hip already and stock some step aerobics? It won't kill you, and the possession of one of those tapes would bring me joy and much sweatiness. You jackasses.
This has got to be the longest day on record. By 10:30 it felt like noon, and by noon it felt like 2 in the afternoon. At 2:30 I thought it was at least 4:00, but then I looked at my clock and fell into a deep despair. Now that it's past 5:00 I Should be going home, but I have to wait until 5:20 because I arrived 20 minutes late this morning. By 5:20 I will be dead from hunger and my coworkers will find my corpse in the morning, if the rats haven't eaten it first. Thank you for listening--I'll be here all week!
So who wasn't as surprised as hell that Elizabeth Smart was found, alive? And by that I mean surprised in a good way, because when kids are abducted they are rarely unharmed. They are, in fact, usually either not found or are found dead, so it's pretty amazing that Elizabeth Smart was found alive. There's something bothering me about it, though--can I share? I'm bothered by all the people saying that it's a miracle and that she was found because people were praying for her. This bothers me because you know darn good and well that every single time a child is abducted, people are praying. Even if the child's parents are atheists, they're praying, and most of the time those prayers are not answered by the return of an unharmed child. I don't even believe in prayer, in the way most praying people do. I won't go into what I believe, though, because that's not the point I'm trying to make here. I'm not even Sure what point I'm trying to make except to wonder what the people who prayed for Elizabeth Smart think about why she was found and so many other abducted children are either not found or are found dead. Do they think they just prayed more, or harder, or better somehow? Do they think Elizabeth Smart was a better person than the other children, or that her family are better people? Do they think it's because she's a Mormon and god smiles on Mormons? I'm really serious about this; I would genuinely like to know. I think the reason she was found alive is because the people who took her didn't want her dead, for whatever reason, and I think it's just lucky that didn't want to kill her. But I suspect that most of the people who prayed for her think she's alive because she is more worthy, or that they are more faithful in their prayers, or because she is blessed to be a Mormon. And if that's the case, that really steams my beans. No children should be abducted, ever, but when they are, they all deserve to live. This is my opinion, and I'm happy for the Smart family, and I will drink a toast to them tonight. That is all.
It's past time for me to go home now, so I'm going and I'm so amazingly hungry that it'll be a miracle if Francisco doesn't come out of the house and find my skeleton in the car, clawlike fingers still attached to the steering wheel. We're having scrambled eggs with smoked salmon, french bread, and salad. And I hope everyone is jealous of me, because it would make up for having to purposely starve myself for the purpose of withering. Are you jealous? Oh come on, I'd be jealous of you!
Somebody please love me, thank you cooperate.
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