I'm thinking a Bambi, or maybe a Safari


I've been in a real weird mood lately and have felt like I have nothing to say that would interest anyone. I think essentially I'm feeling disconnected from my life, and this may have something to do with watching approximately 11 hours of Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns per week, plus the recurring fantasies of living in an Airstream trailer in the Florida Keys. I don't know why I nurture stupid fantasies (before the Airstream, it was living in Paris and before Paris it was the middle of nowhere USA) but actually I think I do know. In my fantasies of living elsewhere I have become the type of person I would like to be, and I think that's the real thing I like about them. So much easier to fast forward and fantasize about being the person I want to be than have to go through the agonizing birth pangs of Becoming the person I want to be. But really those Airstream trailers are fabulous because they are A) shiny and B) manageable. Spring cleaning would take an hour if I lived in one of those, rather than several days of painstaking labor in my current house. And I couldn't own Nearly as much stuff. So even if I am never who I want to be, I would love to live in an Airstream someday. Screw the whole upward mobility thing--I want to downsize my way to freedom. I even (and this is an awful thing to say) have found myself periodically envying the people who lost everything in the horrible tornadoes of a couple days ago. They may have lost everything but they no longer have to think about dusting useless knicknacks or cleaning the grout in the shower.

Enough of that; I'm starting to remind myself of Geraldo Rivera [thanks Miles]. This morning I did my kickboxing workout tape and it was good, but was difficult enough to remind me that I'm a fatass. I was following the instructor people just fine until they would "take it up to tempo", at which point my limbs would go all haywire and start moving independently of my body. Not to mention the breasts flying around the room. I am thinking seriously about getting a breast reduction, once I am back at my fighting weight. At that point I might not hate and resent them so much, but if they're still getting in the way, they'll have to go. Stupid bosoms.

Dear Breasts,

MUST you do everything gravity tells you to do? If gravity jumped off a bridge, would you jump off too? Be more weightless!



We've received two deliveries of our CSA subscription, and we're loving it. Both of the past two weeks we've gotten baby field greens and baby spinach, and the first week we also got collards. This week we got arugula, which is delicious. Not a lot is in season so far, hence all the greens, but everything arrives washed and ready to go, and how can you beat that? You can't, that's how.

This weekend I bought a few items of clothing. I got a longish skirt that is red, hot pink, and pink, and is prettier than it sounds. It has sort of a Hawaiian feel to it, and really it's not something I would normally wear. I also got a shorter (but not mini) skirt that is black with white embroidered flower outlines on it. To go with these, a pink t-shirt and a white t-shirt. Today I'm wearing the pink ensemble and I have received several compliments on it--I think it's adding some mystery to my character.

Speaking of which, did I talk about my big idea for when we move? I can't remember. When we move and I'm looking for jobs, I'm going to invent a character to play during interviews and my actual job proper. That way I'll really be acting for a living, though I'm the only one who will know it. I'll still use my real name, of course, but I'm going to change the pronunciation. For those who do not know, my name is Eva. It has always been pronounced Eeeva, but I'm going to switch to a hybrid of Ava and Ehva, just for the job. I'm also going to get some nonprescription glasses to wear--I'm thinking cat-eyes--and a wardrobe of severe Germanic secretary outfits that will have a tiny S&M quality. I think this will make work a lot more interesting, and this way I can also make some things up, to provide a background for my character. I think I'll have her be from Rhode Island, because nobody knows jack about Rhode Island (I'll do some research, don't worry).

That's about all I have time for today, chiclets. Talk to you later,


E |


come over some time & see me - 2011-02-25
let's not say goodbye - 2011-02-23
the Rachel Zoe collection - 2011-02-10
I feel happy today - 2011-02-04
the tiny snow stalker - 2011-01-25

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