|
Presidential Emmys 2001-10-05 Like dogs returning to their own vomit, these are the days of our lives. My eye appointment this morning went okay, though I was very wrong in thinking the glaucoma test would be the worst part; that part was no big deal. A worse thing was the pupil dilation, because my eyesight got all blurry and my eyeballs felt as though they were on the verge of exploding. My pupils only just started getting smaller a few minutes ago, so I should be able to reinsert my contact lenses soon. The Worst thing about the eye appointment was being told I'm not a good candidate for the Lasik surgery. I'm not sure why that is, since the doctor told me two years ago that I am a good candidate, but I guess he changed his mind. His new assessment is based on the fact my eyes are so bad that to correct them they'd have to remove a lot of corneal tissue and my cornea would probably become unstable. He tells me this and then says the good news is there's an eye surgery in clinical trials for which I Am a good candidate. The surgery involves cutting a slit in the eye and inserting a contact lense in front of the pupil. When he told me this I had to make a conscious effort not to weep, because I really had my heart set on the Lasik, and also because the thought of someone cutting a slit in my eye makes me extremely nervous. I quit the Boy Scouts because of eye surgery; but let me explain. When I was in high school I thought I wanted to have a career in medicine (I was thinking about being a nurse), so I joined the Medical Explorers. The Medical Explorers turned out to be a branch of the Boy Scouts, so I got a Boy Scout membership card with my name on it. I cherished the card for a long time, but I lost it years ago. ANYway, when I was in the Medical Explorers, we once took a field trip to some eye place where they showed us a video of Radial Keritatomy (sp?) surgery. The video made me all nauseous and I decided a medical career was not for me, so I quit the club. I'm nauseous all over again, thinking about having something inserted in my eye, but honestly I think I might go through with it because I would really love to be able to see without glasses or contact lenses. I will postpone my decision until after the FDA approves the procedure and there is more information available about it. Let me tell you one more thing about my appointment and then I'll move on. This is the Best thing about the appointment: The Coffee Ladies. After I'd checked in at the desk and was sent to the waiting room, some elderly ladies came buzzing in with a cart containing coffee and coffee acoutrements. They asked if anyone wanted coffee and of course (being the caffeine whore I am) I said yes. They gave me my cup of coffee and then beetled away. I decided right then that when I am old I'm going to find a hospital to volunteer at, and I will be a Coffee Lady. I figure on doing it really eccentric though, with a feather boa and tiara maybe. I love the Coffee Ladies. Last night when I got home, Francisco and Boy were out getting Subway sandwiches for dinner. I heard them drive up so I went to the door, and this little kid who I've seen around before was talking to them. He was asking for part of one of the sandwiches. Apparently he just came up to Francisco the minute he'd emerged from the car and asked if he could have a half of one of the sandwiches Francisco was carrying (Subway has those clear plastic bags). Francisco was flabbergasted by the request and he told the child no, that the sandwiches were our dinner, and in any case, the child should not take food from strangers. He told him that even if a stranger Offers him food, he shouldn't take it. The kid said okay, and wandered away. I observed him opening all the mailboxes in the culdesac, and then I saw him take someone's outgoing mail out of their box. Francisco went out and replaced the mail and then walked the child home and informed his parents that their son was messing with mail and asking strangers for food. Francisco wasn't trying to be mean at all, he just figured the parents should know what their son was doing, for his own safety if for no other reason. Hopefully the child will have learned something from this, but I am not optimistic; he doesn't seem to have the most attentive parents. Last night Boy and I watched the Survivor thing--"Countdown to Africa", or something like that. Survivor 3 starts next Thursday and you know I'll be watching. The thing last night was showing past footage and past Survivor contestants, but it was also showing clips from the new contestants' application videos. This one guy whose photograph made him look pretty tough was totally different than he looked. He Must be gay, because, well, he just must be (I don't want to be offensive in describing why I'm convinced the guy is gay, but it is his mannerisms, and please keep in mind that I am not homophobic). After they showed his video clip Boy and I turned to each other and agreed that the guy was probably gay. He is a bartender and Boy said (rather astutely I thought), "Maybe he works at a gay bar." I said, "Huh, I bet you're right! ... Hey, how do YOU know about gay bars?" Boy said, "Oh, well, word gets around." I laughed for a really long time about that one. Word does indeed get around; I know it did when I was a kid. So I forgot to mention yesterday that I watched a little bit of the Austin Powers movie (the first one) that was on television on Wednesday night. I was really happy because I got to watch what I think is the best part of the movie; the part where Dr. Evil and his son Scott go to the father/son group therapy. That is Such a great part--I love Dr. Evil. Scott: I really like animals, so I was thinking I could be a veterinarian. Dr. Evil: An *evil* veterinarian? Brilliant! You know, I was thinking this morning about the Presidency, and I was thinking in all seriousness that we really should be electing actors instead of politicians. Hear me out! All presidents are, to one degree or another, being advised (if not told straight out) what to do by a group of big-brained thinkers, and all presidential speeches are written by other people, and consequently it's almost as if presidents are puppets with someone else's hand up their ass. And since that is the case, we should be electing people who can play the presidential role convincingly. We should actually elect the group of big-brained thinkers first and then let them write the scripts for whatever actor is subsequently elected to play the president. I know this sounds flippant and whatnot, and I certainly don't mean to upset anyone in this trying time. But picture for just one moment, if you will, what it would be like to have Harrison Ford in charge of the country right now. Wouldn't you feel a little better? A little more confident? I just think things would be playing out more authoritatively if our president was someone who could act, or at least pronounce. Go on, castigate me; I'm not afraid. Use the guestbook. I'm happy it's the weekend, even though I have no major plans. Tonight is the Fall Fester (as Francisco and I call it) at Boy's school, so we'll need to spend some time there, though our tolerance for that sort of thing is low. I made a cake for the Cakewalk, but it is from a mix. I can't believe how quick it is to make a box cake compared to a scratch cake--it's like 10 minutes, compared to an hour. I guess that's the whole point of box cakes, and it's probably why my Japanese roommates from college were always mailing cake mixes home. But I digress. The only other thing I have planned is that we're going out to breakfast on Sunday morning. I know it doesn't sound like much, but we haven't been out for breakfast in months and I really really enjoy that. If there's anything better for giving you that feeling of well-being than breakfast out, then I don't know about it. Take good care of yourself, and I'll talk to you next week. Love,
come over some time & see me - 2011-02-25 |
design by simplify
