The 2001 Eyeglass Squintacular

2001-07-10

Kids, you are all required to feel sorry for me today, as something is up with my left eye and it hurts to wear my contact lenses. The eye pain has forced me to wear my glasses to work, and not only are they extremely thick and for that reason unattractive, they are also heavy and hurt my nose. The worst part of having to wear my glasses is that I can't wear sunglasses outside, since I do not own prescription sunglasses. My eyes are light blue and very sensitive to sunlight, so driving in glasses is an uncomfortable, squinty, molelike affair.

A few years ago I had a minor ulceration on the cornea of my left eye, and the irritation on my eye now is in exactly the same place as it was then. When I had that ulceration I was unable to wear my contacts for five whole weeks, so I really hope this thing clears up soon and doesn't turn out to be an eyeball ulcer. Also I hope I don't blunder into a situation where I'm outside and the sun comes through the back of my glasses and burns someone standing in front of me, because I don't have any insurance to cover that. These glasses are a fire hazard during daytime hours; I should probably avoid state parks and wooded areas for the time being.

Francisco's thumb spot is not a melanoma; I repeat, not a melanoma. I'm very glad about that.

I want to talk about something now that I have been struggling with for a few weeks. I have been undecided about whether to write about this in my diary, but I have concluded that I might as well, as I have already disgraced myself many times over and once more won't make a difference. I have a problem and I have no idea what to do about it. The problem, in all seriousness, is this: There is a cockroach living in our dishwasher.

You know we live in the South and there are roaches in the South, more abundantly than in the North, and I guess it came in from outside and was drawn to the dishwasher when it contained dirty dishes. I saw the cockroach in there a few weeks ago and attempted to whack it with something but it eluded me. I ran the dishwasher in the mistaken belief that the roach would drown or be heated to death. "Die, you bastard!", I screamed as I switched the dishwasher on, but the running of the dishwasher did not have the desired effect. I opened it the next day, feeling triumph at having exterminated the roach with my quick thinking machinations, and imagine my surprise, horror, and disgust as I saw the roach very much alive and crawling around in there.

Basically he's living in the door of the dishwasher somehow, and I don't know how to get at him. The few times I've glimpsed him since the first two times he has evaded my attempted whackings, so I'm kind of at a loss. I am bothered by his presence for two main reasons: 1) He's in there when the dishes are clean, and what if he crawls on them? I am very grossed out by that. 2) What if he is a she and multiplies? I can't take a cockroach family living in my house/dishwasher.

We didn't see the roach for awhile so we thought he had finally gone on to his eternal reward, but then a few days ago Francisco opened the dishwasher and there he was. Does anyone have any dishwasher-cockroach experience? Can anyone help me get rid of this repulsive pest? Suggestions would be appreciated.

I want to talk briefly about one more thing, except that I don't, really, because it makes me sad. Yesterday morning Francisco was running and he saw a little dog get hit and killed by a car. That would be sad enough, but what makes it worse is the little dog was chasing him and that's why it was in the road in the first place. The person who hit the dog stopped and notified the dog's people, which is good because a lot of people don't stop when they hit animals, but it would have been better, obviously, if the dog had not been hit in the first place. I really really love animals and it makes me so sad when they are killed on roads, so I just want to ask people to please be careful when driving, especially on residential streets, because animals don't understand that the road is a bad place to be. Also, if you have dogs, I beg you to keep them fenced if you can, for the same reason. It is not always possible to anticipate an animal running out into the street or avoid them if they do (especially squirrels because they're so indecisive), but I truly think it's our responsibility as drivers to Try. That's all--thanks for listening.

And please, don't write to me and point out that I would like to kill the roach in my dishwasher, yet save other animals, because I am not a Buddhist and I do see a difference between an insect and a mammal. And besides, if I could trap the roach and release him into the wild, I would. Are there humane roach traps? Because I'll use them, don't think I won't.

Love,

E |

cats-kittens

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